“Alisa, Can
you go and get some eggs with Jessica please”.
Jessica was my best friend. She
was staying with us because her parents had to work.
Together we
walked to the chicken coop. By the coop
there is a pond. I thought I saw a frog
in the water. I looked very close and I
fell in. Jessica quickly pulled her
camera out and took a picture. She then
pulled me out of the sludgy pond. We got
the eggs, dashed to the house, handed the eggs to mum and I went to the shower.
“Long story” Said Jessica.
Hi Brooke,
ReplyDeleteI like your story it was creative. I thought it was a bit funny how you said Jessica took a picture before she pulled you out:) Good job Brooke.
From your cool friend Tia!
Tia,
DeleteThanks for the comment. I'm sure you mean it was really funny when Jessica pulled the camera out!
Brooke:)
Well done Brooke. I love the look of your blog, and the writing is good too. I love that you used dialogue in your story. I would recommend trying to combine some of your shorter sentences into more compound and complex sentences
DeleteMrs Vreeland,
DeleteThanks for the comment and the helpful tip for my writing. If I get the chance to do another story I will try do what you suggested.
Brooke